Why I’m Single – Reason # 1

Just before Christmas, I got a text message from “Ryan”, someone I dealt with briefly in the past. This is how it read:

R – Hey stranger? How you been? Busy tonight?

LL – I’m always busy. You need to make plans in advance remember?

R – LOL (I loathe LOL) ok I’ll remember that. So you busy tomorrow? I’d like to see you…I miss you.

LL – You miss ME particularly or is it something else you miss?

R – LOL (sideeye) well you know what I mean.

LL – Yep. Anyhow, I’ll link you tomorrow if I’m free.

Guess what? I wasn’t free. So I didn’t return the text. Until…..

This afternoon I’m browsing Facebook since I haven’t had much time to stalk my friends’ pages and get gossip catch up with my friends’ status’ and photos and such and I come across that little “Friend Finder” gadget on the sidelines. So I click to see what it’s about ‘cuz I’d like to see who else I can stalk I’d like to see what other friends are on Facebook and apparently I can add my MSN friends.

Well, if you know how I feel about BBM, then you know how I feel about MSN…..

I haven’t been on the damn thing in years, not since gchat and Skype and that sexy man in Texas but I’ll leave that for another post.

So I enter my MSN password and lo’ and behold I get a slew of “friends” that are not yet on my Facebook fan club page. And “Ryan” is one of ’em!!!

I click on his profile….

…..and there’s cute ol’ “Ryan”…..sitting at what looks like the head table at HIS OWN WEDDING, in a tux with his pretty li’l wife in her wedding dress!!!

So I sent him a text this afternoon. And this is how it went:

LL – Hey stranger, how you been?

R – Oh hey! LOL (fucking LOL) I was thinking about you this week. You busy tonight? (Really Ryan? Are you for fucking real?!?!)

LL – Actually no I’m not, wanna hook up?

R – Sure.

LL – So when did you get married?

R – LOL where you got that from?

LL – Be honest. Why lie?

R – Why would I? (I don’t understand this. “Why would I” what? Get married or lie? I don’t know. If you have suggestions, leave ’em in the “comment” box). Are you busy today? (He’s persistent!)

LL – Answer the question. You look happy in your wedding picture. (And this is why I’m the nice guy. I didn’t give the fucker another chance to lie. I should have kept quiet and let him answer, but nontheless….)

R – Yes I am married. Got married in December.

LL – Congratulations. Now delete my number. I’m not your bitch.

R – Ok.

And this ladies and gentlemen is reason number one why I’m single.

5 thoughts on “Why I’m Single – Reason # 1

  1. I’ve lost all faith and hope in the opposite sex b/c of shit like this. Who do u think crawled out of every fucken rock imaginable after my seperation? ALL my married friends, acquaintances, we went out in high school but u never got past first base guys. WTF?!?! AANNNNDDD…i used to work as a receptionist at a rub and tug spa years ago and used to have to hold on to wedding rings when men forgot them there, not to mention answer phone calls from wives asking what kind of spa it was that their husbands were going to.

  2. i must say ive heard that story more then once. why bother getting married than.
    if your looking to screw obviously what you got at home is not satisfying enough so why sign the contract to misery.
    lol love your responce mine would be \BLOCK DELETE!!!!
    love the site. your an insperation!

  3. It doesn’t make sense…men don’t make sense…
    I’m sure u can get the same reaction in regards to women…
    no offense Mizz Lippz but could ‘another woman’
    possibly be that much more desirable then the one you’ve just committed your
    life too?!

    At the end of the day it is just sex…but that involves
    Emotions of some kind…if you can’t have all those
    Emotions with just one woman and feel the need to
    Express them with various women…then don’t get

    Leave marriage for the committed, hopelessly devoted, crazy in love
    Men who might actually be faithful. Question is…does
    He even exist?

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