Just before Christmas, I got a text message from “Ryan”, someone I dealt with briefly in the past. This is how it read:
R – Hey stranger? How you been? Busy tonight?
LL – I’m always busy. You need to make plans in advance remember?
R – LOL (I loathe LOL) ok I’ll remember that. So you busy tomorrow? I’d like to see you…I miss you.
LL – You miss ME particularly or is it something else you miss?
R – LOL (sideeye) well you know what I mean.
LL – Yep. Anyhow, I’ll link you tomorrow if I’m free.
Guess what? I wasn’t free. So I didn’t return the text. Until…..
This afternoon I’m browsing Facebook since I haven’t had much time to
stalk my friends’ pages and get gossip catch up with my friends’ status’ and photos and such and I come across that little “Friend Finder” gadget on the sidelines. So I click to see what it’s about ‘cuz I’d like to see who else I can stalk I’d like to see what other friends are on Facebook and apparently I can add my MSN friends.
Well, if you know how I feel about BBM, then you know how I feel about MSN…..
I haven’t been on the damn thing in years, not since gchat and Skype and that sexy man in Texas but I’ll leave that for another post.
So I enter my MSN password and lo’ and behold I get a slew of “friends” that are not yet on my Facebook
fan club page. And “Ryan” is one of ’em!!!
I click on his profile….
…..and there’s cute ol’ “Ryan”…..sitting at what looks like the head table at HIS OWN WEDDING, in a tux with his pretty li’l wife in her wedding dress!!!
So I sent him a text this afternoon. And this is how it went:
LL – Hey stranger, how you been?
R – Oh hey! LOL (fucking LOL) I was thinking about you this week. You busy tonight? (Really Ryan? Are you for fucking real?!?!)
LL – Actually no I’m not, wanna hook up?
R – Sure.
LL – So when did you get married?
R – LOL where you got that from?
LL – Be honest. Why lie?
R – Why would I? (I don’t understand this. “Why would I” what? Get married or lie? I don’t know. If you have suggestions, leave ’em in the “comment” box). Are you busy today? (He’s persistent!)
LL – Answer the question. You look happy in your wedding picture. (And this is why I’m the nice guy. I didn’t give the fucker another chance to lie. I should have kept quiet and let him answer, but nontheless….)
R – Yes I am married. Got married in December.
LL – Congratulations. Now delete my number. I’m not your bitch.
R – Ok.
And this ladies and gentlemen is reason number one why I’m single.