Men and their egos. I love them. The bigger the ego, the better the conversation (in my opinion anyhow). How great would it be for you to get full bragging rights to an event that involves your big….ego? Imagine being given the title of “Toronto’s Most Cunning Linguist”? Kinda sexy no? Say it with me…..c-u-n-n-i-n-g l-i-n-g-u-i-s-t. Aye papi.
It’s easy really. Me? I’ve got my way with words. But you gotta coax them out from behind this mouth. I’m not talking flattery. I’m talking persuasion. Seduce the letters and make them form into words that will flow freely from within my soul. Come here….lemme show you how:
Woman You Never Met At The Liquor Store
He – Can you recommend a fruity white wine?
She – I’m sorry. I don’t work here.
He – I know this. Can you recommend one anyhow?
She – I’m afraid I know nothing about fruity white wines. I only drink red.
He – So tell me about your favourite red wine, seeing as you’ll be drinking it anyhow.
Woman At Work You Want To Take Out To Dinner
He – Have you tried that Italian place down the street?
She – No, I might check it out this weekend.
He – I heard they have the best cheesecake in the area.
She – Oooooh. I like cheesecake.
He – I like cheesecake. And you. It only makes sense that I take you this weekend.
It’s not even what you’re saying, but how you’re saying it. You make eye contact and you keep it. And maybe during that conversation, you’ll randomly throw in the fact that you just noticed a sliver of yellow in the pupil of her eye. Or how her lipgloss looks especially perfect. Or how much you love her calves – yes, calves! (Shoutout to my boy Cash Money who perfected this on EVERY. WOMAN. HE. WANTED. TO. BED.
Now, grab a book. Any book. Or a sports magazine. Or the newspaper. Or porn even (selfless plug right here baby!) Read it out loud in front of the bathroom mirror and practice looking yourself in the eye. And then email my girl @HL_BB at email@example.com and tell her you’re going to talk to her and Skye and Max and myself on June 23rd 2011 at Tequila Bookworm in Toronto…..
…..and I’ll tell you all about my favourite red wine.