So many thoughts. And I can’t find a single way to make sense of them all.
You’d think I’d have this down pat, having lost so many loved ones to this fucking disease. Fuck cancer.
Terry was 29.
Was. I can’t believe I’m using his name in the past tense.
There’s nothing I can say. I can’t express my emotions right now. All’s I know is, it’s wrong. This is wrong. Growing up as the eldest cousin on mom’s side meant I would be the first to die. At 89. And everyone would follow in the order they were born. That was my theory and that was how it would go. Nowhere in that little theory of mine was anyone supposed to die before me. And no one was going to be sick either. No one would suffer, no one would cry, no one would feel any pain. And especially not Terry. Not my little cousin with the big smile and the dark, shining, smiling eyes who never bothered the other cousins, never complained, never sulked. Ever. And anyone who knew Terry will tell you the same.
To be surrounded by so many friends and family at the hour of one’s death speaks volumes. He was well-loved, funny, always positive, bright, clever and an all-around beautiful person. And to say that he’ll be missed would be an understatement.
Rest in eternal paradise my sweet, sweet Terry. I’m so jealous of who you’re with and where you’re at right now.
Though we never left you And you spoke very few words We’ll never forget you From the stories we’ve heard For you, I know brother A baby, a mothers pain ‘Cause your soul is in heaven But your memory remains I know, I know brother We’ll meet again someday I know, I know brother We’ll walk through fields Where children play Your eyes shined bright When you were a kid Your family loved you And all that you did Big brother, big brother Don't worry a bit Your flame has not faded Since the day it was lit Your life was a joy Your mommas oldest boy And when the skies are blue Big brother They’re blue for you We will smile at pictures Of you as a boy Before you retired To Heavenly joy I know, I know brother We’ll meet again someday I know, I know brother We’ll walk through fields Where children play Lyrics from "Unknown Brother", The Black Keys, edited by Jimmy Soares
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