I know about your anxieties tomorrow and being the
controlling big sister that I am, I wish I could take them all away from you.
You’ve got a few factors in your favour. You’re older, more mature, experienced, wiser and all that good stuff. I was just a child when I gave birth to my second baby boy. And I cried. And cried and cried because I was a horrible mother and couldn’t possibly love my new baby boy as much as I loved his 11 month old brother that I had left behind at home with his grandmother. There was no way. And no one could tell me any different.
And then I saw him. And this overwhelming love came pouring out from an unknown source within me and I kissed him and hugged him and cried and cried and cried more tears. Guilty tears (for thinking I couldn’t possibly love him as much as my first), happy tears (because he was healthy), proud tears (because he was oh so cute!!)
and then reality kicked in and they took him away because I almost died and everything was fine.
You have the strongest support group around. A family willing to drop everything at the mere mention of, “I need to go to the grocery store….” because you’re fortunate to live close enough that SOMEONE can watch your babies so you don’t have to drag them both with you. A family who will try (but not succeed) to take your baby for a night so you can get a full 5 hour sleep. A family who lets you wake them up on a weekend morning at 8 a.m. because you’ve been awake since 5 a.m. and need to getaway with your non-sleeping, dramatic daughter.
And though your family won’t take away your fears and anxieties, we’re here to hold your hand and cry right along with you during those fears
and blast the selfish motherfucker who forgot you were pregnant and said something (meaningless) to get your emotions up and made you cry for no reason.
I’m anxious. But my anxiety lies in my impatience to meet the newest member of our support group. That precious baby boy (fingers crossed) that I will call my nephew for the rest of my life.
You’ll be fine. You’ve already proved how great of a mother you are to my darling little queen. There’s nothing you can’t do to not raise a prince.
I’ll be there to pray and cry with you tomorrow morning just in case you don’t think you’re fine.
And besides, I think you learned from the best…..
……there’s no limit to love 🙂