nos·tal´·gi·a – 1. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.
Let me start off by telling you what I feel nostalgic about….
- Mid-afternoon text messages (“Baby. Tell me why I smell you”)
- Eating ice cream from the ice cream truck on a summer afternoon during summer vacation and wondering when the boys from up the street were coming out to play
- The kiss on the forehead before the sex
- Running through a sprinkler while on a late night stroll
- Sitting on the balcony at 2am smoking a cigarette with 5 girlfriends and discussing men and why we love them.
I could go on with scenarios that will make you “Ahhhh” all day/evening, but the one I choose to
rant talk about today is the subject of the opposite sex and why we let the novelty of all it’s goodness wear off.
Now, as I’m sure you’re aware from reading previous posts, I’m not in a relationship nor do I have any commitments at the moment. And this is based entirely on my decision to be commitment-free. I made a promise six years ago *which I will discuss on a later post* and if you knew me #inreallife, you would know I never make a promise I don’t keep. Ever.
Which brings me back to the topic of the novelty wearing off.
Take for instance,
meeting a potential fuck buddy falling in lust. We all know how it goes. There’s the initial meet, the attraction, that first contact, the exchange of eye-fucking glances, the smile, the first approach, exchange of information (be it email/phone number/ that other messaging app that I despise BBM), it’s all so…….giddy. So new and exciting, so refreshing, so thrilling and electrifying.
And then, three months down the road, after he’s
found your spot made you comfortable, after you’ve convinced him you were the best he ever had………
The. Novelty. Wears. Off.
Don’t bother arguing with me. Don’t tell me how you’re so in love with your
boring, monotonous significant other, how he still buys you flowers on a weekly and takes you for dinner to a fancy restaurant once a month. I don’t believe a single fucking word coming out of your mouth doubt you for a minute. But I’m not talking about love right now.
I’m talking about the nostalgic feeling that comes with seeing your S.O. I’m talking about that rush
in between your legs that runs through your veins when you remember the time you brought a blanket to the park and watched the stars and cuddled and ended up making out like two school kids. I’m talking about the time she snuck into your office and hid under your desk for 17 minutes with a picnic basket full of, ahem, goodies.
And this happens with almost any relationship in your life, either platonic relationships, BFF’s, co-workers, in-laws…..anything I can think of right now.
A few months ago, I had a “Phone Relationship” with someone from my company. He called in to inquire about something and I answered the phone. I’ll never forget that conversation:
He – You must be new.
LL – *in my signature flirty way* And how do you know this?
He – Your voice.
LL – What about it?
He – I haven’t spoken to you before. And I would never forget a voice like yours. *insert a very cute chuckle here*
LL – Good. I’ve made an impression.
He – Oh you have. I’m going to find an excuse to call you every day just so I can hear you.
THAT conversation, that initial contact, that’s nostalgia. Because right now, at this point, months later, the novelty has worn off.
We ended up exchanging phone numbers and every day there was a text conversation of some sort, from when we were going to meet (we have yet to know what the other looks like) to previous relationships, to simple flirting and just all around sweet, fun conversation!
And then, just like that, we stopped.
Oh he still calls, still chuckles when I drop my voice an octave or two, still jokes about surprising me at work
with a picnic basket with a tea. But that original novelty, that newness, that electricity? It’s gone.
It can’t be me can it? Tell me I don’t have a complex and it happens to you too. Give me ways I can avoid this, tell me how I can continue these wonderful feelings, tell me someone will make me “Ahhhh” on a regular.
I can’t possibly be the only one who gets butterflies every time she hears this stupid song…..
*sighs* I can’t wait to be proven wrong.