Here’s the scenario:
We met does it really matter where we met??? and we clicked. He was cute. Tall and dark just the way I like ’em. I told him I was single and wanted to get his pipe remain single, that I expected nothing from him. I mean, I’m the reason Ne-Yo wrote “Miss Independent”. I got my own ride, my own crib, make my own money and buy my own jewelry. Yeah yeah yeah that was a lame explanation but you get my point right?
After the prerequisite three dates (who said it had to be three dates anyhow?!), he laid down that pipe. And though it wasn’t mind-blowing, I’d rate him an 8 outta 10, given that it was our first time and all. And he was eager to please, waking me up rolls eyes in the middle of the night for a second and yet again, a third time, even though I’d have enjoyed it better had he let me sleep.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and we’re on that text flow, things are cool, he sends me the occasional “I miss you and can’t wait to fuck see you again”, yadda yadda yadda. Now, you know me. I told him from the gate that I didn’t want anything serious. I don’t catch feelings. I’m a grown woman and ain’t looking to get cuffed. So there’s really no reason for us to “get to know each other better”. We vibe, we’re cool, sex will get better the more we sex and that’s just that, right?
Wrong.
Current day:
My BBM goes off and lo’ and behold, there’s “Marcus” with the question of ALL questions, “So I gotta ask…..what are you looking for and what do you want?”
*screeches to a halt*
Come again?!?! Say what??
Did you miss the part when I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship? Were you listening when I said I didn’t want anything serious?
It got me thinking. Do we, as women, miscommunicate our intentions and feelings to the opposite sex? Or is it because we’re the “weaker” sex and usually end up naming our unborn children and planning our wedding and hoping the Marcus’ of the world end up falling head over heels in love with us? Is he afraid I’m going to fall in love with him?
I don’t know about your other women and what wrong they did you or how that chick from the club ended up being the psycho-ass stalker misinterpreting every BBM status and asking for your Facebook password because “We need to trust each other” bullshit. I don’t care that the lady who approached you in the International Foods aisle at the grocery store said she wanted to take you home that night and ended up asking you to move in with her.
Yes, when it comes to emotions, I will admit we’re the weaker sex. We’re lovey and touchy and cute and just all around super sweet gross gushy moistness. We ooh and ahh and go ga-ga over your manly muscles. And every little princess has that prince-in-a-castle dream.
But at my age and status, I really have no other intention except for the one I MAKE KNOWN. Did I go about it the wrong way? Did I say something wrong? Could I have perhaps, chosen a different set of directives? Maybe flashcards would have gotten my point across?
I’m baffled. I don’t get what he doesn’t get. How hard is it for a woman to get some good ol’ romping in the sack without having to worry about what he’s thinking?!?
Help.
@mizzlovelippz 
You wanna hear embarrassing? NeYo’s “Miss Independent” was the inspiration behind my narrative on a certain outdated “Social Network” long after it was a socially acceptable site. That’s DM worthy, because I’m not fronting myself out like that!
I’m taking your sex kitten card for rolling your eyes at Rounds 2 & 3! That should be greatly rewarded, not mocked! Gotta love a dyck you can’t keep down! Also you’ve been fined for referring to “moistness” in a negative light. You’re treading on thin ice sister. 😉
Having emotions and knowing what you want is not weak. Just like the feminist movement made it “ok” for women to be in the workforce, it ALSO made it ok for a woman to choose to stay in the home. Same with the freedom a woman has to want a relationship with a man OR NOT. But the odds are most women that Marcus has dealt with previously have wanted relationships so when you told him that you didn’t, he probably respected your “game” but most likely wrote it off as such (games/lies).
Marcus’s thoughts –> http://bit.ly/gFBPJS
So I don’t think it’s a matter of miscommunication, I think it’s a matter of most other women running game, he peeped it, and now he figures that you’re like them and wanna have lil Marcus’ all up and through your general womb area.
Just clarify and let your actions prove your words. To be fair, his life experience is most likely screaming at him that you’re lying, it’s only natural that he try to protect himself. Eventually he’ll get it.
Thank you for making me giggle. The only reason for that is because I think this happened to a friend of a friend of mine. 😉 and I fully enjoy your reading material all the time, even when it hits home.
I don’t think that you really need to ask for help. I believe you are mature beyond your years.
Now, as for the situation at hand…I truly believe that it’s the insecurities in men! ALL men. They all have it, it’s just a matter of time before they show their true colors, some sooner than others apparently!
We, as women, need to choose if we want to deal with that shit and continue to date them, or if we run like hell in the opposite direction. The situation at hand…I’d run!!! Nothing to it! Run like hell, and don’t look back. There is some other man, who’s maybe one in a million, who will understand what you’re looking for, but if he’s one in a million, I’d want to keep him around!
That’s the thing. We all know a person whose been through this situation. We all have a friend whose current boy-toy is “insecure”. But what I don’t understand is, I put it all out there for him!
Isn’t it MOST men’s wish to have a girl whose just DTF with no strings attached?!
That’s what they say!! May e this one just need to reconfirm that there are no strings attached!
Two possible scenarios of equal likelihood
1. He doesn’t trust you – and he’s right not to. Not because of you personally, but females as a gender rather. I can’t count the women that started out as willing cock holsters only to decide after a few ‘dates’ that they were ready for more. Women rarely set out ‘trap’ a guy but you have to admit, women change their minds almost hourly. You can’t blame him checking your intentions.
2.less likely. He’s wanting more out of you, but wants to draw YOU out first. if he makes those kinds of intentions known.